Chapter VIII: Self-Examination and Self-Accounting
(53) The great saint Shaoanah used to pray thus : O God, if my death is near and my virtues are not sufficient to stay near you, inform me of my faults and short comings. If you pardon me. who is more responsive in pardon than you ? If you give me punishment, who is there more just than Thyself ? O God, your look of mercy remains for me still. Alas for me if fortune does not touch me still. O God, keep me in the path of religion during my life time, cut not off Thy look of mercy from me even after my death. O God, how can I be despaired of Thy mercy after my death ? Who will look over me during my life time except the everloving beautiful. O God, if my sins make me anxious, my love for you has given me shelter. Shower blessings on him who has been deceived by her ignorance. O God, if you have wished to dishonour me, you should not have given me guidance, If you have wished to dishonour me you should not have covered my- sins. Give me that guidance for all the time to come which you have given to your dear ones. 1 don't think that you would reject the purpose for which I spent my whole life. O God had I not committed sins, I would not have feared your punishment. Had I not disobeyed you, I would not have hoped for your reward.
360 THE BOOK OF CONSTRUCTIVE VIRTUES Vol-IV
(54) The saint Khaoas said: Once I entered the prayer room of a woman. She became black as a result of constant fast owing to constant weeping. She was attacked with rheumatism and became blind for constant prayer. Thereafter she used to pray siting. When I saluted her, she cried : I know best of myself. How good it would have been if Allah had not created me, if I would not become a thing to be even mentioned. Then she began to pray.
Don't obey the majority of the people of the world, but follow the teachings and ways of life of saintly persons who dedicated themselves to the cause of God. The stories of the pious and the saints are numerous, but what has been described above is sufficient for the wise. If you want to know more of them read the lives of the friends of God who were mostly the companions of the Prophet and their immediate successors. If you follow your contemporaries, you will be good in their eyes but loser in the hereafter. If you do not follow them, they will call you mad, while it will be good for you in the everlasting abode and you will enjoy its peace and happiness. So don't engage yourself in the net of their fraud.
SIXTH STAGE— MUATABA (SELF REBUKE)