Aslam

Praise be to Allah.Obedience to a created being becomes shirk in situations such as

obeying that person in matters where what is forbidden is deemed to be allowed, and vice

versa, or when that person issues rules and regulations, or laws, that go against the laws

of Allaah, and the follower believes that these laws are more complete and better than the

laws of Allaah, or as good as His laws, or that the laws of Allaah are better but it is

permissible to follow these man-made laws. The evidence for this is the aayah

(interpretation of the meaning): “They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and

their monks to be their Lords besides Allaah (by obeying then in things which they made

lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered by

Allaah)…” [al-Tawbah 9:31]. ‘Adiyy ibn Haatim said: “O Messenger

of Allaah, we do not worship them.” [He was a Christian who became a Muslim -

Translator]. The Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be

upon him) said: “Do they not allow you that which Allaah has forbidden and forbid

what Allaah has allowed?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “This is a kind of

worship.” The Christians’ obedience of their priests in sin and in accepting

what they say about what is lawful or unlawful is a form of worshipping something other

than Allaah, which is a kind of shirk akbar (major shirk), that contradicts Tawheed (true

monotheism).

With regard to your question, if the person who obeys his parents in

sin believes that it is in fact a sin, but he does what he does because of his own desires

or because he is afraid of his parents’ punishment, but it is not the matter of being

forced to do so, then he is a sinner who has gone against the words of the Prophet

(peace

and blessings of Allaah be upon him), There is no obedience to a created being if it

involves disobedience of the Creator” (reported by Ahmad, 1041; a saheeh

hadeeth) – but he is not considered to be guilty of shirk akbar. But

if the son believes that what his parents say overrules what Allaah says about halaal and

haraam, then he is guilty of shirk akbar. The Muslim has to strive against himself to

bring his desires in line with what the Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon

him) taught, and so that he gives precedence to obeying Allaah and His Messenger over

obeying anyone else, and so that Allaah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than

anyone else. The Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “None of

you truly believes until I am more beloved to him than his son, his father, and all the

people.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 63). And Allaah is the Guide

to the Straight Path.