Can he delay Hajj because of problems with his wife?
Praise be to Allah.
When a Muslim is able to do Hajj, he should hasten to do it,
and it is not permissible for him to delay it for no reason, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Hasten to do
Hajj – i.e., the obligatory Hajj – for none of you knows what will happen to
him.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 2721; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
al-Irwa’, 990). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: “Whoever wants to do Hajj, let him hasten to do so.” (Classed as hasan
by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1524).
What you have mentioned
about your brother’s problems is not a reason for delaying Hajj, because
Hajj will not prevent him from dealing with this problem, since it is within
his power to try to solve this problem and finish with it before he goes for
Hajj. His Hajj may be the means of his problem being solved, because of the
help from Allaah it may bring and the blessing (barakah) of Hajj and
obedience to Allaah. It may be that he will make du’aa’ during his Hajj with
regard to this matter, and Allaah will answer and relieve him of this
distress.
Moreover, our advice to your brother is that he should not
hasten to divorce his wife, rather he should take his time and not rush into
anything. For divorce is something that Allaah dislikes.
If the problem between him and his wife is because of
negligence on her part regarding one of the duties towards Allaah, such as
if she neglects to pray or is not chaste, etc, then he has to warn her and
remind her about Allaah, and call her to Allaah, and try to guide her to
obey Allaah. If she persists in not responding to him, then in that case
there is nothing to be gained by keeping her.
But if the problem between them is of the common type of
problems between spouses, and has to do with differences of opinion
concerning day to day life and household matters, etc., then he has to be
patient and treat her kindly, and try hard to correct what he thinks is
inappropriate. For Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it
may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of
good”
[al-Nisa’ 4:19]
The husband has to live
with his wife honourably and keep her company in a good way, refraining from
harming her, and treating her kindly. Living with her honourably also means
putting up with any annoyance that his wife may cause him, and he should
remember that he will have a great reward for that from Allaah.
A man may dislike his wife, but he keeps her out of obedience
to Allaah and treats her kindly, and then Allaah brings about a great deal
of good from that. He may be blessed with righteous children from her who
will benefit him in this world and in the Hereafter; or his dislike may be
taken away and replaced with love, as often happens.
The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he dislikes
one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” (Narrated by
Muslim, 1469). What this means is that it is not appropriate for a believing
man to hate a believing woman, because even if he finds some bad
characteristic in her for which he may dislike her, he will find another,
praiseworthy, characteristic for which he will love her, such as her being
chaste or kind or obedient, or some other good characteristic. The same is
true of all people, each person has some good attributes and some bad
attributes. As the poet said:
“Who is there that is pleasing in all his characteristics? It
is enough honour for a man’s faults to be few enough to count.”
The wise man is the one who weighs up both the good
characteristics and the bad.
Your brother should make a lot of du’aa’ in the places and at
the times when du’aa’ is especially encouraged, during Hajj and otherwise,
asking that Allaah may reconcile him with his wife and create love between
their hearts.
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bestow
blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad.