Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

You have to restrain your anger, because Allah says (interpretation of the

meaning):

“…who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinoon

(the good‑doers).”

[3:134]

“And those who avoid the greater sins, and Al‑Fawahish (illegal sexual

intercourse), and when they are angry, they forgive.”

[42:37]

This is because when a person does not restrain his anger, he insults,

curses, swears and hits. Anger may be a door to all kinds of evil. The

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) often advised people not

to get angry. Al-Bukhari narrated in al-Saheeh from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah

be pleased with him) that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of

Allah be upon him), “Advise me.” He said: “Do not get angry.” The man

repeated his request several times, and he said, “Do not get angry.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) regarded the one who

controls himself when he is angry as being the strongest of men. Al-Bukhari

narrated in al-Saheeh that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of

Allah be upon him) said: “The strong man is not the one who can wrestle

(fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of

anger.”

Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) made some important points

in Fath al-Bari in his commentary on the hadeeth (narration) “Do not get

angry”. He said:

“Al-Tabarani quoted the hadeeth of Sufyan ibn ‘Abd-Allah al-Thaqafi: I said,

O Messenger of Allah, tell me something that will be of benefit to me, and

make it brief and concise. He said, “Do not get angry, and Paradise will be

yours.” It was also narrated that Abu’l-Darda said: I said, O Messenger of

Allah, tell me of a deed which will earn me admission to Paradise. He said,

“Do not get angry…” Al-Khattabi said: The meaning of the phrase ‘Do not get

angry’ is: Avoid the things that cause anger and do not expose yourself to

that which provokes it. Anger itself could not have been forbidden, because

it is something natural which cannot be removed from human nature. Someone

else said: What is meant is that which can be achieved by training oneself…

It was said that it means: Do not do that which anger provokes you to do.

Ibn Battal said: The hadeeth indicates… that striving to control oneself is

more difficult than striving against the enemy, because the Prophet (peace

and blessings of Allah be upon him) described the one who controls himself

at times of anger as being the strongest of people. Someone else said:

Perhaps the person who asked this question was hot-tempered; the Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to command each person to do

that which was most appropriate for him, so he summed up his advice to this

person by telling him not to get angry. Ibn al-Teen said: in the words ‘Do

not get angry’, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)

brought together the good of this world and of the Hereafter, because anger

results in cutting off ties and withholding kindness, and it may lead to one

doing harm to the person with whom one is angry, which diminishes one’s

religious commitment.

One of the scholars said: Allah created anger from fire, and made it an

instinct in man. When there is a dispute, the flames of anger are fanned

until a person’s face and eyes become red, because the skin reflects what is

underneath it… Anger produces external and internal changes, such as a

change in colour, trembling, uncontrolled actions and a change in

appearance, such that if the angry person could see himself when he is

angry, he would feel ashamed of his ugly appearance and the way his

appearance has changed. All of this is what happens on the outside. The

internal effects are even worse, because it generates hatred in the heart,

envy (hasad) and all kinds of bad feelings. The most ugly effects of anger

are the internal effects, and the external changes are the results of the

internal changes. All of this has an effect on the body. The effect on the

tongue is that it speaks words of slander and foul language which the wise

person would feel ashamed of, and the angry person regrets them when he

calms down. The effects of anger can also be seen in people’s actions, when

they beat and kill others. If the angry person does not have the chance to

do that, he turns his anger against himself, tearing his garments and

slapping his cheeks; sometimes he may have a seizure, or fall unconscious,

or break vessels, or hit someone who has not done anything wrong. Whoever

thinks about these evil actions will realize just how much wisdom there is

in these gentle words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon

him), ‘Do not get angry,’  and to how great an extent they protect people’s

interests by warding off this great evil which may otherwise lead who knows

where.

All of this has to do with anger for the sake of worldly things, not anger

for the sake of religious matters… (Anger for the sake of Allah is

praiseworthy and recommended, such as anger when seeing evil actions). It

helps a person not to get angry when he bears in mind what has been narrated

concerning the virtues of restraining anger, and the warnings concerning the

results of anger; he should also seek refuge with Allah from the Shaytan

(devil)… and do wudhu (ablution)… And Allah knows best.”

Remember, too, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)

was not a person who insulted or cursed others. It was reported in Saheeh

al-Bukhari that Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was not a person who

insulted people or used obscene language, and he did not curse people. If he

wanted to rebuke anyone, he would say, “What is wrong with him? – may his

forehead be rubbed with dust.”

You must repent to Allah for any curses and aggressive words that you have

uttered, but there is no need to tell those whom you have cursed, so as not

to provoke any evil actions. You can ask their forgiveness in a general way.

With regard to the people whom you have prayed against, pray for good things

for them, especially if you have been unfair to them in your prayers against

them when they did not deserve such a thing. Ask Allah to be kind to you,

for a person’s duas (supplications) may come back on him if he prays against

someone who does not deserve them. You must keep your tongue busy with du’a

and dhikr (remembrance of Allah), because this brings peace to the heart. “…

Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” [13:28 –

interpretation of the meaning]. Keep away from using your tongue to hurt

other people.

May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.