Aslam

Praise be to Allah.Who is praised in all languages,

worshipped at all times, Whose knowledge encompasses all places, and Whose

attention is never distracted from anything. Glorified be He above having

any peer or rival, and exalted be He above having any wife or child. His

ruling applies to all His slaves.

“There is nothing like Him, and He is the All‑Hearer, the

All‑Seer”

[al-Shoora 42:11 – interpretation of the meaning]

And blessings and peace

be upon the one who was sent as a mercy to the worlds and as proof for all

of mankind. He conveyed the message and fulfilled the trust, and strove for

the sake of Allaah in the truest sense, until he left us with a clear path

whose night is as clear as its day, and no one deviates from it but he is

doomed…

We must note that anyone who believes in the existence of

Allaah and that He is the Lord and Creator, even if this believer in the

existence of Allaah is not a Muslim, knows that this Lord is distinct from

His creation in all aspects. There is no room for likening or comparing Him

to His creation. Hence Allaah says:

“There is nothing like Him, and He is the All‑Hearer, the

All‑Seer”

[al-Shoora 42:11 – interpretation of the meaning]

If the owner of an item in this world can dispose of it

however he wishes without any person bringing him to account for that

because it is his property, then Allaah the Creator – like unto Whom there

is none – may dispose of His “property” however He wills. We Muslims have

certain faith that our Lord Who created us has the utmost wisdom which

cannot suffer the slightest shortcoming whatsoever. Rather everyone who

believes in the existence of the Lord and accepts Him as his Lord must

believe this, otherwise he is believing in an imperfect Lord, and the one

who has the least reason and faith knows that there can be no Lord Who is

not perfect in every sense and far removed from any imperfection.  Otherwise

he is not a Lord in any real sense. We in turn, because we are part of the

creation of Allaah, cannot comprehend any part of His wisdom unless He tells

us of it. What He has taught of the reasons behind His actions, we

understand and accept; what He has concealed from us and kept the knowledge

thereof to Himself, we believe in it and we know that He does not do

anything unless there is great wisdom behind it, because He is the All-Wise

and All-Knowing. It should never, under any circumstances, cross our minds

to think that we can bring Him to account for what He does in His dominion

and creation, otherwise we will be transgressing upon the preserve of

Lordship and overstepping the mark, if we claim that we can know what He

knows. No one can utter such words except a heretic who does not believe in

the existence of a Lord in the first place. We seek refuge with Allaah from

that.

If we accept the words of human specialists when they are

dealing with their specialties, and we do not argue with them – such as

doctors, engineers, etc. – because our educational level does not enable us

to understand everything that they know, then it is even more appropriate

that we should accept that however the All-Knowing, from Whose knowledge

nothing is hidden, deals with the affairs of His creation is undoubtedly

correct and wise.

We humans sometimes think that it is wise to do some things

that we dislike, because there is some benefit in that for us, and if we did

not do them we would be accused of being lacking in wisdom and reason. For

example, if a person is sick and there is the fear that he may die, but it

is known that he may be cured – by Allaah’s leave – if he takes a certain

medicine, then the wise thing for him to do is to take that medicine even if

it is bitter; if he fails to take it, that is regarded as a shortcoming and

lack of reason on his part. There are many things that we do in life that we

dislike, because of the benefits that they bring to us.

For Allaah is the highest description (cf. al-Nahl 16:60),

and there is no way that He can be compared to His creation. He allows some

things to happen in His dominion that He hates, because they serve a greater

wisdom which we, or most of us, cannot comprehend.  Some of His wisdom may

become clear to us, and that is by the mercy of Allaah towards His believing

slaves, as He shows them some of His wisdom in this world so that they might

find peace of mind. For example, if we want to ask about the reasons for

something we could understand, such as why Allaah creates a child then

causes him to die, perhaps if that child lived he would have committed major

sins such as those that doom a person to Hell, and that would have condemned

him to remain in Hell for eternity, or for a very long time, or he may have

caused others such as his parents to deviate from the path of Allaah – as

mentioned in the story of the boy whom al-Khidr killed, as told in the story

of al-Khidr and Moosa in Soorat al-Kahf.

Alternatively, if this child lives he may face such

difficulties that in his case death is a mercy from Allaah.

Moreover, if Allaah creates him handicapped, perhaps this

handicap will prevent him from committing many sins which, if he did them,

would lead to his being punished on the Day of Resurrection.

Not every sickness or handicap is necessarily a punishment;

rather it may be a test for the child’s parents, by which Allaah will

expiate for their bad deeds, or raise their status in Paradise if they bear

this trial with patience. Then if the child grows up, the test will also

include him, and if he bears it with patience and faith, then Allaah has

prepared for the patient a reward that cannot be enumerated. Allaah says

(interpretation of the meaning):

“Only those who are

patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning” [al-Zumar

39:10]

For us Muslims, life does not end when we die, rather we

believe that beyond death there is Paradise and Hell, in which is true

life.  Those who did good will find the reward for the good deeds that they

did in this world, waiting for them with Allaah, and those who did evil will

find the punishment for their evil deeds waiting for them. Good and evil

cannot be equal, and the patience of the one who was tested and bore it with

patience will not be wasted with Allaah. Indeed, those who were not tested

in this world may wish that they had suffered similar calamities when they

see the high status attained by those who bore calamities with patience.

There is a great deal of evidence to this effect in the Qur’aan and Sunnah,

for example:

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And certainly, We shall

test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits,

but give glad tidings to As‑ Saabiroon (the patient)” [al-Baqarah 2:155]

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah

be upon him) said: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all of

it is good, and that applies to no one except the believer. If something

good happens to him he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if

something bad befalls him he bears it with patience, and that is good for

him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).

From this it should be clear to you that the calamities that

befall those who seem to us to be innocent, and indeed happen to all people,

are not necessarily a punishment, rather they may be mercy from Allaah, but

our minds and reason are imperfect and are often unable to understand the

wisdom of Allaah in such matters. Either we believe that Allaah is more just

than us, and more wise, and more merciful towards His creation, so we submit

to Him and accept (His will), whilst also acknowledging our inability to

understand the true nature of our own selves; or we boast of our imperfect

reason and feel proud of our weak selves and insist on calling Allaah to

account and objecting to His decree. Such thoughts can never cross the mind

of anyone who believes in the existence of a wise Lord, Creator and

Sovereign Who is perfect in all ways.

If we do that then we have exposed ourselves to the wrath and

vengeance of Allaah, but nothing can ever harm Allaah.

Allaah drew attention to this when He said (interpretation of

the meaning):

“He cannot be questioned

as to what He does, while they will be questioned” [al-Anbiya’ 21:23]

A sign of man’s weakness and shortsightedness, is that he

focuses on the calamities without paying any attention to the benefits they

may bring, and not looking at other blessings that he enjoys and sees around

him. For Allaah has blessed mankind in ways that do not compare with the

calamities that may befall them. If there was a man who does a lot of good

but occasionally does not do good, then forgetting the good things that he

does would be regarded as ingratitude and denial. So how about when this is

our attitude towards Allaah, to Whom belongs the highest description, and

all of Whose dealings with His creation are good and cannot be bad in any

way?

Moreover, the Prophets and Messengers are the most beloved

of creation to Allaah, yet despite that they are the most severely tested of

mankind and suffer the most calamities – why? It is not a punishment for

them and it is not because of their insignificance before their Lord. Rather

it is because Allaah loves them and has stored for them a perfect reward

which they will enjoy in Paradise, and He has decreed that these calamities

should befall them so that He might raise them in status. He does whatever

He wills, however He wills, whenever He wills; none can put back His

judgement, none can repel His command and He is All-Wise, All-Knowing. And

Allaah is Most High, Most Knowledgeable and Most Wise.

Note: with regard to what you say about your female friend,

it should be noted that it is haraam to establish an illegitimate

relationship between a man and a woman. For more information on this

important topic please see the fatwas under questions 9465 and 1200 on this site.