Aslam

Praise be to Allah.This

depends on the situation of the husband; it may be that marriage to

a widow is more suitable for him, and better.

The

widow may be a lady of religious commitment and good character, such

that you would not want to let the opportunity to marry such a woman

“slip through your fingers”, and you could not find a virgin of such

religious commitment and character.

But

generally speaking, the Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marriage to virgins.

There

is the story of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him), whose father

had died, leaving him with sisters. In his case it would not have been

suitable for him to marry a virgin who was young like them. So he wanted

to marry a woman who had been previously married, who could take care

of them and look after them, and the Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) approved of his decision.

It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah

(may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “The Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked me, ‘Have you got

married?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married

woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young

girl, whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ I said,

‘I have sisters and I wanted to marry a woman who could gather them

together and comb their hair and take care of them.’ He said: ‘You will

reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate

with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son).’”

(Narrated

by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715)

According

to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2257), “… so she could teach

them and discipline them.”

According

to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2805) and Muslim (715): “He

said: ‘The Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, when I asked

his permission (to participate in jihaad), “Have you married

a virgin or a previously-married woman?” I said, “A previously-married

woman.” He said, “Why did you not marry a virgin whom you could play

with and she could play with you?” I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, my

father has died (or has become a shaheed/martyr), and I have

young sisters, so I did not want to marry someone like them who could

not discipline them or take care of them, so I married a previously-married

woman who could take care of them and discipline them.”’”

It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be

pleased with him) said: “My father died, leaving seven – or nine – daughters,

and I married a previously-married woman. The Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked, ‘Did you get married,

O Jaabir?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married

woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young

girl whom you could play with and she could play with you, and you could

laugh with her and she could laugh with you?’ I told him that ‘Abd-Allaah

had died and left behind daughters, and I did not want to bring to them

someone like them. So I had married a woman who could take care of them

and discipline them. He said, ‘May Allaah bless you,’ or similar kind

words.”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5052)

Shaykh

Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said:

“It is

Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because

the Prophet (peace and blessings

of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could

play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) – unless there

is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better,

in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order

to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)

And Allaah

knows best.