Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

We advise you to adhere to Islam and adhere to its obligatory

duties such as prayer, zakaah and fasting, and to be an example to your wife

so that perhaps Allaah will guide her at your hands and you will achieve

much good thereby.

Secondly:

Your anxieties and fears about your children growing up as

non-Muslims – if they are born from this woman – reflects a commendable

concern on your part for your religion and the religion of your children.

Undoubtedly this good attitude is a good thing. In order to find peace of

mind you need to make a great deal of du’aa’ and ask Allaah to protect your

religious commitment and that of your children. You have to pray istikhaarah

as prescribed in Islam, and ask Allaah to guide you and help you to make the

right decision as far as your religious commitment is concerned,  and choose

whether to stay with her and have children with her, or to leave her and

marry a committed Muslim woman with whom you will feel confident – by

Allaah’s leave – about your children. Be certain that whoever gives up

something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something

better than it, as is proven in the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and

blessings of Allaah be upon him). You can make the most of your wife’s being

so attached to you to explain to her that if there is a conflict between

your love for her and the soundness of your religious commitment, then the

soundness of your religious commitment has to take priority. Perhaps this

will motivate her to enter the true religion of Allaah – Islam.

You should note that you cannot force her to enter Islam

without conviction, because entering the religion of Islam by force will not

benefit her, as Ibn Katheer mentioned (1/211).

See also The effects of marriage to kitaabi women (i.e.,

Jewish and Christian women), question no.

20227.

Thirdly:

If your circumstances are conducive to your raising your

children as Muslims and protecting them from religious and moral deviation,

and your wife and her family will not be able to influence them in those

areas, then there is nothing wrong with trying to have children with your

wife, even if she remains a Christian, because having children is also the

wife’s right, and that may help her to learn about Islam and look into it as

she has promised to do.

Fourthly:

You should try to move to a Muslim country where you will be

able to give your children a sound upbringing, whether you stay with this

wife or marry someone else, because staying in the kaafir lands is not

permissible except in cases of necessity or where it serves the interests of

the Muslims – such as staying there to call people to Allaah, or to study

and acquire knowledge that the Muslims need but is not available in their

countries – so long as one is able to practise Islam openly and call others

to Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon

him) said: “I disavow any Muslim who stays among the mushrikeen.” Narrated

by Abu Dawood, 2645; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

For more information on this issue please see question no.

13363.

Fifthly:

In the event of a divorce, then the wife is entitled to the

delayed mahr (dowry), if applicable. With regard to accommodation and

maintenance, that depends on the type of divorce:

If a man has given his wife one revocable talaaq (divorce),

then she is entitled to accommodation and maintenance during the ‘iddah; she

may also inherit from him and he from her (if either of them dies) during

this period, because they are still married. The evidence that a woman

divorced by a revocable talaaq is entitled to accommodation is the verse in

which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them at their

‘Iddah (prescribed periods) and count (accurately) their ‘Iddah (periods).

And fear Allaah your Lord (O Muslims). And turn them not out of their

(husband’s) homes nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are

guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits

of Allaah. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed

he has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not it may

be that Allaah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return

her back to you if that was the first or second divorce)”

[al-Talaaq 65:1]

If she does not go back to him until after the ‘iddah has

ended, then she can only go back to him with a new marriage contract.

If a man divorces his wife with an irrevocable talaaq, then

she is not entitled to accommodation and maintenance during the ‘iddah,

unless she is pregnant.

Irrevocable divorce is of two types:

(i)The “lesser” type, which is

divorce before the marriage has been consummated, and the divorce in return

for some compensation or payment.

(ii)The “greater” type, which is

the third of three talaaqs.

The evidence that a woman who has been divorced by an

irrevocable talaaq is not entitled to maintenance or accommodation is the

report narrated by Muslim (1480) from al-Sha’bi who said: I entered upon

Faatimah bint Qays and asked her about the ruling of the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). She said that her husband

divorced her irrevocably and she referred the matter to the Messenger of

Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to judge with regard

to accommodation and maintenance. She said: He did not grant me

accommodation or maintenance, and he told me to observe my ‘iddah in the

house of Ibn Umm Maktoom.

According to another report also narrated by Muslim she said:

I mentioned that to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of

Allaah be upon him) and he said: “You are not entitled to any maintenance or

accommodation.” According to a version narrated by Abu Dawood: “You are not

entitled to any maintenance unless you are pregnant.”

And Allaah knows best.