Aslam

Praise be to Allah.Firstly:

We ask

Allaah to help you to do good, and to make things easy for you and relieve

you of your distress. For what a Muslim woman hears and sees of those who

have turned away from the religion of Allaah or whose commitment has become

very weak, she has to bear that with patience and seek reward for things

that she suffers. She had to have hope in her Lord and ask Him to help her

to remain steadfast.

It is not

permissible for her to respond to their demands or to go along with their

whims and desires for her to mix with them, look at them, shake hands with

them and give up hijaab, because if she pleases them in this manner she will

incur the wrath of her Lord.

Secondly:

The sons of

your husband’s brothers and sisters are not mahrams, rather they are among

the people of whom you should be extra cautious, because the Prophet SAWS

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) likened them to death.

It was

narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and

blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A

man from among the Ansaar said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the

in-law?” He said, “The in-law is death.”

(Narrated by

al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172)

Al-Nawawi

said: The scholars of Arabic language are agreed that al-hamu

(translated here as “in-law”) refers to the relatives of a woman’s husband,

such as his father, paternal uncle, brother, brother’s son (nephew), cousin

(son of paternal uncle), etc. Akhtaan (sing. khatan) refers to

the relatives of a man’s wife, and ashaar (sing. suhr) refers

to both.

With regard

to the Prophet’s words “The in-law is death,” what this means is that there

is more fear with regard to him than anyone else, and evil is to be expected

of him, and the fitnah (temptation) is greater because he is able to reach

the woman and be alone with her without anyone denouncing that, unlike the

case of one who is a stranger. What is meant by “in-law” (hamu) here

is the relatives of the husband apart from his father/grandfather and

sons/grandsons. Fathers/grandfathers and sons/grandsons are mahrams for his

wife and it is permissible for them to be alone with her. The word “death”

here does not refer to them. Rather what is meant is the brother, brother’s

son, paternal uncle, cousin, etc, who are not mahrams. People are usually

careless about this matter and a man may let his wife be alone with his

brother. This is what is referred to by “death” and should be prevented more

than her being alone with a stranger for the reasons mentioned above. What

we have mentioned is the correct meaning of the hadeeth.

Sharh

Muslim, 14/154

Shaykh ‘Abd

al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

It is

permissible for a woman to sit with her husband’s brothers or cousins, etc.,

if she is wearing complete shar’i hijaab, which means covering her face,

hair and entire body, because she is ‘awrah and fitnah. That is if there is

nothing dubious about the gathering. But if the gathering is one in which

there is something dubious, then it is not permitted, such as sitting with

them in order to listen to singing and musical instruments, etc.; and it is

not permissible for her to be alone with any one of them or with anyone else

who is not a mahram for her, because the Prophet (peace and blessings

of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone with a (non-mahram)

woman unless she has a mahram with her.” (Saheeh; agreed upon). And he

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone

with a (non-mahram) woman, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.”

(Narrated by Imam Ahmad with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab. May

Allaah be pleased with him).

And Allaah

is the Source of strength.

Fataawa

al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 1/422, 423

Thirdly:

As for a woman shaking

hands with a non-mahram man, this is haraam. It is not permitted for you to

take this matter lightly just because your relatives or your husband’s

relatives want you to.

It was

narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aa’ishah told him about the bay’ah (oath of

allegiance) given by the women: “The hand of the Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any

woman. When he accepted the oath of allegiance from a woman, he would accept

her words and then say, ‘Go, for you have sworn your allegiance.’”

(Narrated by

Muslim, 1866)

So this

infallible one, the best of all mankind, the leader of the sons of Adam on

the Day of Resurrection, did not touch women, even though the bay’ah or oath

of allegiance originally was done by giving one's hand. So the ruling should

be even more strict with regard to other men?

It was narrated that

Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace

and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I do not shake hands with

women.”

(Narrated by

al-Nasaa’i, 4181; Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani

in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2513)

Shaykh Ibn

Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Shaking

hands with women with a barrier in between is something that is subject to

further debate, but the view which is most likely to be correct is that it

is not allowed at all, based on the general meaning of the ahaadeeth,

because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,

“I do not shake hands with women,” and so as to ward off the means (that may

lead to immoral actions). And Allaah knows best.

Haashiyat

Majmoo’ah Rasaa’il fi’l-Hijaab wa’l-Sufoor, 69.

And Allaah

knows best.