Aslam

Praise be to Allah.Firstly:

Zina is a grave sin,

especially on the part of one whom Allaah has blessed with marriage and who

has responded to the blessing with ingratitude, betrayed her husband,

transgressed against his honour and contaminated his bed. Hence the

punishment for this married woman is to be stoned to death, as a punishment

from Allaah, and Allaah is Almighty and All-Wise.

But by His mercy, He is

kind to His slave and gives him respite and allows him to repent, and He

accepts that from him and gives reward for that. How merciful, great and

kind He is, may He be glorified and exalted.

Allaah says (interpretation

of the meaning):

“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with

Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause,

nor commit illegal sexual intercourse __and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of

Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic

Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their

sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]

So continue to repent and

beseech Allaah to accept it from you, and beware of your self that is

inclined towards evil, lest you take for granted Allaah’s kindness towards

you and His covering of your sins, for He gives respite but does not forget,

and when He becomes angry He punishes.

Secondly:

You have to block all the

ways that lead to haraam, such as tabarruj (wanton display of adornment),

free mixing, correspondence and phone calls. This is part of your repentance

and mending your ways. You must beware of the traps of the shaytaan, for the

shaytaan has traps and tricks whereby he tempts his friends, as Allaah says

(interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe!

Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the

footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al‑Fahsha’ [i.e. to

commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al‑Munkar [disbelief and

polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is

forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His

Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allaah

purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allaah is All‑Hearer,

All‑Knower”

[al-Noor 24:21]

Thirdly:

If you do not want to stay

with him and you cannot stand him, and you fear that if you do that you will

fall into zina, then there is nothing wrong with you asking for a divorce,

but you should think about the consequences of doing that and what your

situation will be after that. Pray to Allaah for guidance (istikhaarah)

before doing that. See question no.

11981 for information about

the istikhaarah prayer.

The evidence that it is

permissible to seek a divorce if a woman hates her husband and cannot bear

to stay with him is the report narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh

(4867), that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Prophet (peace

and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I do

not blame Thaabit ibn Qays for any defect in his character or his religious

commitment, but I would hate to commit an act of kufr when I am a Muslim.”

[Ibn Majaah (2056 added): and I cannot stand him ] The Messenger of Allaah

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Will you give him back

his garden [which he had given as mahr]?” She said, “Yes.” The Messenger of

Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said (to Thaabit),

“Accept the garden, and divorce her once.”

What is meant by “I would

hate to commit an act of kufr when I am Muslim” is: I would hate to do a

deed that is contrary to Islam such as hating my husband or disobeying him

or not fulfilling his rights, and so on.

See: Fath al-Baari

(9/400).

But we advise you, before

you ask for a divorce, to try to set things straight first, for divorce is

something that Allaah hates and does not love. So try to appoint a wise man

from your family to speak to your husband and find out the reasons for the

problem, and try to reconcile between you. What you say about his being weak

can be worked out with your husband frankly, for Allaah is not too shy to

tell the truth. If it is the matter of sickness, there is nothing wrong with

him going to the doctor.

But if it too difficult for

you and your attempts at reconciliation do not succeed, then in sha Allaah

there is nothing wrong with you asking for a divorce in that case.

We ask Allaah to set our

affairs and those of all the Muslims straight.

And Allaah knows best.