Aslam

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Should he leave home because of his sisters’ bad behaviour?

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

Your father made a grave mistake when he left the house and

went back to his own country. Allaah has entrusted him with something and he

has neglected that trust. What he should have done was to stay with his

children in order to discipline them, look after them and take care of their

affairs. Perhaps it is your father’s leaving that made your sisters’

behaviour even worse.

So we advise you, first of all, to convince your father, as a

matter of necessity, to come back to his wife and children, so that he can

take care of them and discipline them, or for all of them to join him in

Pakistan – even if that is done by force or by trickery – and perhaps that

would be better, because your staying in that land where there is kufr,

evildoing and moral laxity is what is affecting your sisters’ attitude and

behaviour.

Secondly:

Your mother, likewise, has to fear Allaah with regard to her

daughters and not give them free rein. Now she has taken on a heavy burden

of responsibility, especially since your father has left. So she should not

take things lightly with regard to her daughters. Your mother has to realize

the seriousness of what your sisters are doing and the damage their actions

may do to all of you in this world, and the sin which will be upon them in

the Hereafter and upon those who approved of their actions or who allowed

them to do that and made it easy for them to do evil actions.

Thirdly:

You have to be patient and to give thought to every action

before you do it. Staying with them is not entirely good, and leaving them

is not entirely good. Rather the matter depends on the effects of your

staying and the effects of your leaving. If your staying in the home will

affect your religious commitment and your sanity, and make you fall into

sin, then we advise you to leave. If your leaving will make their behaviour

worse and your staying will not affect your religious commitment and sanity,

then it is haraam for you to leave, because your leaving may make the sin

worse, which would mean that you were neglecting your responsibility and

being careless about that which has been entrusted to you.

Fourthly:

Perhaps this is a test from Allaah for you, to expiate for

your bad deeds and to raise you in status, not a punishment. Hence we advice

you to be patient, not to make any hasty decisions, to make du’aa’ and to

beseech your Lord to guide your sisters to be good and chaste. We advise you

to look for means of guiding them such as getting them married, looking for

good sisters for them to mix with, moving house, and so on. Perhaps when

Allaah sees that you are sincere, He will help you and will guide your

sisters and your mother, and will unite the family in religious commitment

and goodness. For He is able to do that and He is the Guide to the Straight

Path.

We will tell you the following story, from which you may

learn a lesson:

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I used to call my

mother to Islam when she was a mushrikah. I called her one day and she said

something about the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah

be upon him) that I did not like to hear. So I went to the Messenger of

Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) weeping, and said,

“O Messenger of Allaah, I have been calling my mother to Islam, but she

refuses. I called her today and she said something about you that I did not

like to hear. Pray to Allaah to guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.” The

Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,

“O Allaah, guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.” I went out feeling optimistic

because of the du’aa’ of the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of

Allaah be upon him). When I came home and reached the door, I saw that it

was slightly ajar. My mother heard my footsteps and said, “Stay where you

are, O Abu Hurayrah!” and I could hear the trickling of water. She took a

bath and got dressed, and put on her headcover, then she opened the door and

said, “O Abu Hurayrah, I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah,

and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger!” I went back to

the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),

and I came to him weeping with joy. I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, rejoice,

for Allaah has answered your prayer and guided the mother of Abu Hurayrah.”

So he praised Allaah and said good words. I said, “O Messenger of Allaah,

pray to Allaah to make my mother and me beloved to His believing slaves, and

to make them beloved to us.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and

blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “O Allaah, make this slave of Yours –

meaning Abu Hurayrah – and his mother beloved to Your believing slaves, and

make the believers beloved to them.” So there are no believing people who

hear of me even though they do not see me, but they love me.

Narrated by Muslim, 2491

And Allaah knows best.

Source: IslamQA (Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid)
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