Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

The command to uphold the ties of kinship is one of the first

commands that were revealed in Islam. It is indicated in a number of proven

saheeh ahaadeeth, such as the following:

(a)

The story of how ‘Umar ibn ‘Absah became Muslim. He asked the

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): With what were you

sent? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He has sent

me to uphold the ties of kinship, to break the idols and to proclaim the

Oneness of Allaah, not associating anything with Him.” Narrated by Muslim

(832).

(b)

The story of Abu Sufyaan and Heraclius when he sent for him

and said: What does he – meaning the Prophet (peace and blessings of

Allaah be upon him) – enjoin upon you? He said: He enjoins us to pray, give

charity, be chaste and uphold family ties.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7) and

Muslim (1773).

In many verses Allaah warns us against severing the ties of

kinship, and states that there will be numerous punishments for the one who

does so, which includes incurring the curse of Allaah and a bad end. Allaah

says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who break the Covenant of Allaah, after its

ratification, and sever that which Allaah has commanded to be joined (i.e.

they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and

work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e. they will be far away

from Allaah’s Mercy), and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e. Hell)”

[al-Ra’d 13:25]

Some relatives may cause the one who upholds ties with them

to fall into sin, especially if he is unable to change the evil that they

are doing.  They may insist – for example – on listening to music and mixing

and indulging in swearing, mocking and backbiting. Such people have an

effect on their visitors and the one who seeks to uphold ties with them. The

Muslim has to advise his relatives as much as he is able to. They are more

entitled to this advice than others, but only if that will benefit them,

whether he is certain of that or thinks it most likely. But if he sees that

they are persisting in sin and especially major sins, and that is affecting

his faith and religious commitment, then it is sufficient for him to uphold

ties with them in the minimum fashion, so that he will not be severing the

ties of kinship. So instead of visiting them, he can just call them on the

phone, and if he visits them he does not have to stay for long, and so on.

But this should after trying his best to advise them and

exhort them and bring them back to the right way, as well as turning to

Allaah in du’aa’, asking Him to guide them to the straight path.

And Allaah knows best.