Aslam

Praise be to Allah.First of all, we would like to congratulate our sister for embracing

Islam, which is the joy for which wealth and souls would be sacrificed, for all the

blessing of Islam makes all grief and distress fade into insignificance.

The sister says that she loves a Muslim man. We say: it is not

appropriate for a Muslim woman to fall into the trap of nonsensical emotions and forbidden

relationships into which others fall. The love which people hear about and read about is

one of the dazzling tricks of the Shaytaan, and it usually happens with regard to things

that Allaah has forbidden. If a man finds that he likes a girl, the only option he has is

to ask her guardian (walee) for permission to marry her.

The mans mothers comment that new Muslims cannot be good

Muslims is false. Were the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) anything but new

Muslims, given that prior to their Islam they had been believers in Shirk? Does any

Muslim have any doubts about their commitment to religion and their character? Moreover,

we see that many new Muslims are many times better than many (born) Muslims! Just because

a Muslim is new does not mean that he will never be good, and just because a Muslim is

born in Islam does not mean that he is good. What counts is Taqwa (piety, awareness of

Allaah) and righteous deeds, as well as the length of time one has been in Islam and has

been worshipping Allaah.

There is no reason why knowledge of the man's marriage should not be

withheld from his parents, especially since this is in the interests of the sister and

there are so few people who can help her to overcome her difficulties. It is the woman who

needs a walee according to shareeah, not the man. However, we would prefer that he

wins his familys approval by convincing them, because this is in their best

interests, benefits which may be lost if they find out that their son concealed his

marriage from them.

The fact that the husband says he wants to call the children to Islam is

good. We ask Allaah to help him to achieve this. The fact that the Hindu father is evil is

sufficient reason for him not to make an open display of his calling the children to

Islam, if that could lead to this kaafir taking the children away by going to the kaafir

courts. You have to act with wisdom in this case.

The woman who is asking this question should not arrange her own

marriage even if she has been previously married, because shareeah does not permit

this. If she does not have a walee as required by shareeah, then her walee may be

the qaadi (judge) or whoever is in charge of the Muslim affairs in her country, such as

the head of the Islamic centre or his deputy.

They especially the sister have to seek the help of Allaah

in dealing with these problems which are giving her sleepless nights. Everyone should know

that whoever puts his trust in Allaah, Allaah will show him a way out. She has to make

duaa sincerely, and he has to try as hard as he can to advise his family and

change their views about new Muslims by showing them real examples of people who are the

opposite of what they think. With regard to the tragedy caused by the former husband, we

advise her again not to make an open display of her calling the children to Islam, lest

that should cause the father to do something that will have bad consequences. If they feel

suspicious about his intentions, there is no harm in calling the police to do whatever is

necessary with regard to him.

If getting married means that the sister will lose her right to custody

of her children, we advise her not to get married now, for fear that these two souls may

end up in Hell in the Hereafter unless she fears that she herself may commit some

immoral action, in which case she should marry the Muslim man whom she has told us about,

with witnesses and a walee as we have stated above. Publicizing the marriage is sunnah,

although it does not have to be announced officially and in writing. But this sister has

to live in a protective Muslim environment and those people will have to know about her

marriage lest she bring upon herself gossip about her honour. If it will be better for her

to leave the place where her ex-husband lives and move to another place where she can be

free, have custody of her children and be able to marry a believing Muslim man who will

protect her and her children, then she should do that.

She has to make duaa and turn to Allaah to relieve her

distress and grief. We pray that Allaah will give her the strength to do that which He

loves and which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.