Chapter II: Etiquette of Marriage
(4) Don't sport with wife so much that her conduct is ruined and fear goes out of her mind, but take to middle course, Don't give up your duties and strike some sort of fear in her mind at the time of doing evils. Hazrat Omar said : Act opposite to women as there is blessing in opposing them. Some one said : Take advice from them but act to the contrary . The Prophet said : He who becomes the slave of women is ruined. He said for this reason that if a husband acts according to the wishes of his wife, he becomes her slave and is thus ruined as God has made him her master. The right of a husband is that the wife should follow him and the husband should not follow her. God termed the husbands as the maintainers of women and husbands as masters. God says : Both (Julaikha and Eusuf) found the master (husband) of Julaikha near the door. Imam Shafeyi said . If you honour three kinds of men they will disgrace you and if you disgrace them, they will honour you — wife servant and Nabati.
Evils and little intelligence are strong over them. The Prophet said : The example of a religious woman among general women is that of a crow with white belly among one hundred crows. The wise Loqman advised his son: O dear son, fear unchaste wife, as she will make you grow old before you grow old. Fear the harms of women as they do not call towards good. Beware of unchaste women. The Prophet said: Seek refuge to God from three calamities. An unchaste wife will make you old before you get, old.
In another narration — If you go to her, she will rebuke you. If you
Vol-II The Book of Wordly Usages 35
don't go to her, she will be treacherous to you When the Prophet fell seriously ill and could not come out to the mosque for prayer, he said to Abu Bakr to lead the prayer. Hazrat Ayesha said : The mind of my father is soft. When he will find your place vacant, he will be perturbed. The Prophet said : When you prevent Abu Bakr to lead the prayer, you have swayed towards your low desires being misguided from the right path. When the wives of the Prophet disclosed the secret talks of the Prophet , God said : If both of you make repentance to God , he will unite your hearts. He said this regarding his good wives . The Prophet said : No nation prospers over whom a woman rules.