Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

Compulsive waswaas refers to thoughts and bad ideas that come

one after another to a person’s mind even though he does not want them, in

such a way that he cannot rid himself of them, even though he knows and is

certain that they are foolish and unacceptable thoughts. They keep coming to

his mind compulsively, which causes him a great deal of anguish and

distress.

The remedy for compulsive waswaas and other types of waswaas

is to remember Allah a great deal, obey Him, and turn to Him, beseeching

Him, and seeking refuge with Him; to overlook and ignore the waswaas, and

not let oneself get carried away with it. In some cases there is a need to

consult a doctor.

See the answers to questions no.

39684 and

90819.

Allah will not punish a person or call him to account for

this waswaas, because it is beyond his control and overwhelms him; it does

not happen by his choice. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of

the meaning):

“Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

“Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has

given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.”

[al-Talaaq 65:7]

“So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you

can”

[al-Taghaabun 64:16].

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of

Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:

“Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will forgive my ummah for whatever

crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim,

127.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have

mercy on him) said:

Allah will not punish the one who suffers from compulsive

waswaas, because He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the

meaning): “our

Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

and “Allah burdens not a person beyond his

scope” [al-Baqarah 2:286]. But the one who is

suffering from waswaas has to frequently seek refuge with Allah from the

accursed Shaytaan and ignore it; if he does that, then it will depart from

him by Allah’s leave. End quote.

Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb, 24/2

If this man speaks words of kufr (disbelief) and words that

put him beyond the pale of Islam because of this compulsive waswaas, without

being aware of what he is saying or understanding what it means, or he

understands what it means but he did not intend to say it and did not say it

voluntarily – rather he said it under the pressure of this waswaas which

forced him to say it – then he will not be punished for it, because it is

beyond his control. He comes under the same ruling as one who speaks words

of kufr because he is forced to do so. Allah, may He be exalted, says

(interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever

disbelieved in Allah after his belief, except him who is forced thereto and

whose heart is at rest with Faith but such as open their hearts to

disbelief, on them is wrath from Allah, and theirs will be a great torment”

[an-Nahl 16:106].

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

If he is forced to disbelieve and he disbelieves, but his

heart is at rest with Faith, then he is not deemed to be a disbeliever,

because there is an impediment to doing so, which is that he was forced. End

quote.

Majmoo‘ Fataawa wa Rasaa’il al-‘Uthaymeen,

3/54

It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 13/229:

It is not permissible to describe as a disbeliever one who

was forced to utter words of disbelief when his heart was at rest with

Faith. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“…except him who is forced

thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith …” [an-Nahl 16:106].

End quote.

See also the answer to question no.

62839

Based on that, this man is not to be deemed an apostate,

unless he says or does something to indicate disbelief at the time when he

is aware of what he is doing, and he says or does it voluntarily. In that

case he would be deemed an apostate and would bear full responsibility for

his words or deeds.

Secondly:

The family’s role towards this poor father may be summed up

as follows:

1.All the members of the family

have to show patience towards him with regard to unpleasant things that

happen with him, because that is happening without him intending it to.

2.They should strive to find

treatment for him and spend as much as they can on that, and use tricks to

treat him. Many cases of waswaas are in fact cases of sickness that can be

treated by psychologists and the like.

3.They should offer a lot of

supplication and beseech Allah to remove this harm and heal him.

4.Ruqya as prescribed in Islam.

His son, wife or any other family member or other person may perform ruqya

for him as prescribed in Islam. Allah may heal types of chronic sickness by

His grace, by means of Islamically prescribed ruqya from the Qur’an and

Sunnah.

See also the answer to question no.

3476

Thirdly:

If this suitor is of good character and religiously

committed, then there is nothing wrong with marrying him, whether his father

is healthy or otherwise, and whether he is a Muslim or an apostate. None of

those factors are an impediment to marrying his son, so long as the son is

religiously committed and of good character.

However we do not think that you should rush to accept such a

person; rather proceeding with caution in the case of such proposals that

may lead to complicated social problems is better, more sensible and wiser.

You have to let your guardians know about the matter and they

should find out the facts for themselves, so that they can make the right

decision for their daughter.

If you feel that this will have an impact on your life and

your social relationships, then you are still young, so if you wait for a

more suitable opportunity that is less likely to cause you problems, then

perhaps that is better and more appropriate.

If you insist on accepting this suitor, and your guardians

agree to it, then you and your husband should have separate accommodation;

that is more likely to avoid problems and keep you away from troubles.

Moreover, he will be the grandfather of your children and

also your father-in-law, the father of your husband, so you should strive

hard to treat him kindly as much as you can.

See also the answer to question no.

130935.

For more information, please see the answer to question no.

146463

And Allah knows best.