Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

To Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. This, by

Allaah, is something that would make one weep. Have things become so bad

that the fitrah has been turned upside down and a father feels such things

towards his daughter?

There is no doubt that this father is mentally ill and

sexually deviant, and he needs urgent and intense treatment for his heart

and mind, both psychological and physical treatment.

For yourself, you need to take measures to make it difficult

for your father to find any opportunity or time to seduce you or interfere

with you. Do not be alone with him in the house, and lock the door when you

are in your room. Do not let him enter upon you on his own. All of these

measures will reduce the opportunities for interfering. But in order to stop

this problem altogether, that can only be done by getting treatment for your

father, or telling everyone about the problem. You have to realize that you

need to be prepared for the effects that disclosing the situation will have

on you and on the whole family, but this is better than things staying as

they are now.

Your mother has to fear Allaah; her not caring about what her

husband is doing is something for which she will be called to account and

she will be regarded as a partner in his crime, because she could do

something to stop him doing this evil deed.

You can seek the help of one of your wise relatives to

intervene in this matter and stop the deviation of this sick father.

Undoubtedly these sick actions on the part of some fathers

have their causes, and no one can deal with a problem without knowing its

causes and how to treat it. Some of these causes have to do with the father,

some with the daughter herself and some with the time and place in which the

family lives.

The causes of this deviation that have to do with the father

include the following:

1-Weak faith, lack of fear of

Allaah and a failure to realize that He is watching.

2-Addiction to alcohol or drugs.

3-Mental or psychological

illness.

4-Watching provocative shows on

satellite channels, or looking at permissive pictures

5-Too much free time

The causes that may have to do with the daughter include:

1-Careless in the manner of

dress. Many girls wear tight and short clothes in front of their fathers and

brothers, which goes against sharee’ah and may provoke evil desires in sick

souls that have been stirred up by satellite channels and permissive

pictures.

2-Carelessness in some actions,

such as kissing on the mouth or provocative touching, or sleeping in the

same bed or under the same cover as her father or brother. These actions are

also contrary to sharee’ah and provoke evil.

If we want to deal with such deeds that go against the fitrah

(sound human nature) and Islam then we must put a stop to these causes that

lead to such decadence. This may be done in the following ways:

1-Striving to spread virtue and

good morals among the family members, and to strengthen their faith in

Allaah, their awareness that He is watching and their fear of Him. This may

be achieved by observing prayer regularly and on time, and keeping away from

forbidden things and bad attitudes.

2-Totally avoiding looking at,

listening to or reading provocative programs and stories.

3-Keeping away from bad company

who only lead one to evil and bad things.

4-Keeping girls away from clothes

that go against Islam, such as tight, short and see-through clothes;

avoiding provocative touching and kissing on the mouth.

5-Seeking spacious living

quarters where a girl will not need to be with her father or brothers in the

same room or under the same blanket.

6-The mother should play her role

in tackling such problems, by not being heedless or careless about anything

she sees or hears that goes against sharee’ah, and she should not wait until

things get really bad or cannot be set right. Rather she has to be aware

from the outset, and not allow her daughter to be careless or allow her

husband to do whatever he wants.

7-Wise relatives should be

informed of such actions so that matters may be dealt with. If that does not

work, then you have to make a complaint to the sharee’ah court or to the

security services in order to stop his evil actions towards you.

8-Our sister who has asked this

question needs to take the matter seriously and not delay taking action. We

advise her to make du’aa’ and seek out the times when du’aa’s are answered,

such as the last third of the night, asking that your father be guided and

that his evil be withheld from you.

9-It is haraam for you to take

your father’s actions lightly. You have to ward him off with all the

strength you have, and raise your voice in shouting for help, even if that

leads to his being shamed or imprisoned.

10-If none of these

solutions work, then we do not advise you to stay in the house. We advise

you go and live with some righteous sisters or with your relatives where you

can live with them in accordance with Islamic rulings.

We ask Allaah to relieve your distress and to guide your

father and withhold his evil from you.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.