Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

The way your husband’s mother has behaved is strange. How can

her son control her and make her act in this manner? But despite all that

your husband has to honour his mother as much as he can, and Allaah does not

burden any soul beyond its scope. If he can visit her when this son is not

present, that is good. If he can keep in touch with her by phone, then let

him do so, and explain to her what he feels, this is good as well. If he can

get some people to intervene, women and others, who can influence his

mother, then let him do so. And he should seek the help of Allaah and make a

lot of du’aa’.

The fact that your husband defended himself in court and in

front of the police is also good.

If he takes his brother who wronged him to court to stop him

from doing more harm, that is permissible, but if he bears it with patience

that is better for him.

Trying to get your husband’s mother away from this oppressive

brother (as described in the question) is a good idea, so as to remove the

means that your brother is using to try to control the whole family.

There is nothing wrong with you stopping visiting her for

now, until things settle down, so that you will not be harmed again as

happened before, especially since your husband’s mother is not one of your

relatives with whom you are enjoined to uphold ties and honour them. If you

do not visit her this is not regarded as disobedience or severing of family

ties.

Yes, you will be

rewarded for visiting her and treating her kindly, if you do that sincerely

for the sake of Allaah, and this is part of treating your husband kindly,

but it is not obligatory for you to do that, especially since she is badly

behaved and has a bad attitude. And Allaah knows best.