Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

We praise Allaah for having guided this sister to Islam and

we ask Him to make her steadfast in adhering to the truth, and to guide her

to the right words and deeds.

What the sister has mentioned is an example of how Islam is

suffering at the hands of its people – if we may put it this way – people

who claim to be Muslim, then they go against the rulings and etiquette of

Islam. Moreover, if this transgression happened in a Muslim country, where

Islam is prevalent and those who are committed to the faith are known, then

no one would be blamed for someone else’s mistakes, and no one would condemn

Islam because of the bad deeds of an evildoer. In that case the matter

wouldn’t be so bad. But the problem becomes worse when one of these

evildoers lives in the west, among the kuffaar, and they regard him as a

representative of Islam and of its morals, etiquette and rulings, then he

lives his life like the Jews and Christians around him, not paying any

attention to what is halaal and haraam.

Al-Awzaa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It was said

that there is no Muslim who is not standing guard on the borders of Islam,

so whoever can prevent Islam from being undermined or attacked, let him do

so.

Al-Hasan ibn Hayy (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With

regard to Islam, the Muslims are like a fortress. If a Muslim does a bad

deed, Islam is breached from his direction; if all the Muslims do bad deeds,

you should persevere in adhering to that which, if all the people were

united on it, the religion of Islam would prevail, that which Allaah wants

for all people, and do not let Islam be breached from your direction.

Al-Sunnah by Muhammad ibn Nasr

al-Marwazi (no. 29, 30).

It hurts every Muslim to hear that Muslim sisters who have

entered Islam recently are exposed to verbal and physical harm by those who

are supposed to be a good example of Islam and of the Muslim family which

should be distinguished by stability, love and compassion among its members.

It is regrettable that among those who claim to belong to Islam there should

be someone like this husband who sets a bad example and puts people off

Islam, and who causes the image of Islam to be distorted, which leads people

to criticize it.

If one of the things that this husband does is to neglect the

prayer, then the sister should realize that it is not permissible for her to

stay with him, because not praying is regarded in sharee’ah as kufr which

puts one beyond the pale of Islam, hence the marriage contract is rendered

invalid. A person like this husband is not fit to be the head of a family in

which he is entrusted with his wife and children, rather there is the fear

that he may harm them by his bad actions. If he does not spend on them as

enjoined by Allaah, then he has combined all kinds of evil in his actions

and attitude, and staying with him is a heavy burden that the wife is

shouldering for no reason; if she rids herself of him by means of divorce or

separation, that will be better for her and perhaps her life will change for

the better, either on her own with her children or with another husband who

understands the value of family and fulfils the duty that Allaah has

enjoined upon him.

If this sister hopes that her husband will be guided and set

straight, then she should strive to achieve that through his friends or

relatives who may be able to have some effect on him and guide him. She can

also make use of audio and video tapes which contain exhortations and

warnings against committing sin, and remind one of death, the grave and the

reckoning. Perhaps that will influence him and bring him back to his Lord,

may He be glorified and exalted.

If that does not do any good, then she should not hesitate to

refer her case to a Muslim judge or mufti, or the imam of a mosque whose

knowledge and religion commitment she trusts, to help her to get rid of him.

If she cannot do that, then she should refer the matter to judicial or state

institutions that take care of family matters. If he does not pray, then her

marriage is null and void, and if he commits those sins although he also

prays, then she should pursue shar’i means of freeing herself from him

through a scholar or seeker of knowledge or an Islamic centre, to oblige him

to spend on his family and give up sins and evil actions. If he refuses then

they should divorce her from him in accordance with sharee’ah, and after

that she should divorce him officially so that he will no longer be regarded

as her husband.

This sister should strive to move to a  Muslim country

because that – even though there may be things there that go against

sharee’ah – is better than the land of kufr and permissiveness, where the

Muslim cannot find safety for himself and his children.

We ask Allaah to increase her reward and to guide her and her

children, and help them to do that which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.