Aslam

Praise be to Allah.Firstly:

Islam enjoins parents to

take care of their children and raise them well. Children will grow up on

what they hear, read and see in their home, on the streets and in school,

and whatever faults happen in their upbringing are because of faults in one

or  all of these aspects.

What has happened with your

son, of his bad attitude towards you, may because of what he has seen and

heard at home of the problems between you and your husband, which led to

divorce, or it may be because of the influence of what he has seen and read

on the computer, or it may be the result of witchcraft done against him by

his father in order to take him from you. Any of these things is possible,

or it may be all of these reasons combined that has lead to this bad

behaviour of your son towards you.

Whatever the case, you have

to set things straight by looking for the causes that have led to these

problems, so that you can deal with the matter by dealing with the cause. If

it is because of your problems with his father, then you must make him

understand the reality of the situation and what happened [?} between you,

in a way that is appropriate to his age and level of understanding. If the

cause is what he hears, watches and sees on the computer then you must keep

an eye on whatever he is looking at, and it is essential to teach him to

make good use of the computer. If he does not respond, then you can forbid

him to use it altogether. If the cause is his father doing witchcraft on

him, then you can start to remedy it by using shar’i ruqyahs from the

Qur’aan and saheeh dhikrs of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah

be upon him). There is no reason why you shouldn’t take him to someone whose

religious commitment you trust, to treat him in the shar’i manner for such

cases.

Secondly:

You can find out whether

his father is really doing sihr (witchcraft) by finding out how he treats

others or what he really says to those who visit him and consult him.

Some of the scholars have

mentioned the signs of the saahir (practitioner of witchcraft) by means of

which anyone can discern the saahir from those who are good and righteous.

These signs are:

1.He asks the sick person for his

mother’s name, and some personal possession of the one for whom treatment is

sought, such as his hair or clothing.

2.He mumbles words that have no

meaning and that the listener cannot understand. The muttering may be calls

to the jinn or devils to come and serve him.

3.Another sign is that the saahir

does not attend Jumu’ah prayer or the five daily prayers in the mosque.

4.He is dishevelled and smells

bad, and he likes being in the dark and on his own.

5.He gives the sick person an

amulet (“hijab”) containing some mumbo-jumbo, squares or numbers.

To find out the truth, he

should have all or some of the characteristics. Thus you will know the truth

about him. It should be noted that you may be exaggerating in suspecting him

of witchcraft. You have to be fair in judging him, and fear Allaah before

making accusations and claims of which he is innocent.

But so long as you have

separated from him, we do not think that you should concern yourself too

much with your ex-husband and whether he is a saahir or not; rather what you

should do is focus on how to protect yourself and your son, and how to

fulfil your duty of raising this boy.

Thirdly:

With regard to custody of

the child, it is known that the purpose of custody is to protect and take

care of the child. Hence a person’s right to custody is waived if he is

immoral or corrupt, or if he neglects him, or if he travels a great deal,

which would harm the child’s interests.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn

Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him):

It should be noted that

there is no text which gives precedence to either parent in general terms,

or chooses one of the parents in all cases. The scholars are unanimously

agreed that neither of them is specified in all cases, rather when there is

transgression of the limits or neglect, precedence is not to be given to the

one who will be like that (i.e., the parent who will transgress the limits

or be neglectful) over the one who is just and good and will do what is

required.

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa

(34/132).

It should be noted that the

period of custody extends until the child reaches the age of discernment and

independence, i.e., custody lasts until the child is able to discern and is

independent of his guardian, in the sense that he can eat and drink by

himself, and clean himself after going to the toilet by himself, and so on.

As he has reached the age

of 11, he should be given the choice of living with his father or with you,

so long as the choice is made by him freely, without any pressure or

compulsion, and so long as the reason for his choice is not that he will

never be told to pray or obey Allaah, or to do anything that is in his

religious or worldly interests, because his choice in this case would be

harmful to him. Many children care only about choosing the one who will

spoil them the most or give them the toys and games that they want, so in

that case he should not be allowed to have what he wants.

If it is proven that his

father is engaging in witchcraft, then it is not permissible for him to take

his son, rather he should be withheld from him until he repents sincerely to

Allaah.

If it is not proven that

the father is engaging in witchcraft, then the parents should cooperate in

raising their son, and pay attention to what is in his best interests, so

that their conflict will not be a cause of the children failing and being

lost.

See also the answers to

questions no. 8189 and

20705 and

21516.

We ask Allaah to set all

your affairs straight and to guide your son to that which our Lord loves and

is pleased with, and to set his father straight and protect his religious

commitment.

And Allaah knows best.