Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

Allah has enjoined

upon the husband to treat his wife decently and with kindness, as He says

(interpretation of the meaning):

“And live with

them honourably”

[an-Nisa’ 4:19].

This is one of the

rights that are common to both spouses; each must treat the other decently

and with kindness.

Each spouse has

rights over the other. We have discussed in detail the rights of the spouses

over one another in the answer to question no.

10680

One of the rights

that the wife has over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by

means of intercourse with her. This is obligatory for the one who is able to

do it. This is the view of the majority of scholars.

It says in

al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (30/127):

One of the rights

of the wife over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by having

intercourse with her. The majority of fuqaha’ – Hanafis, Maalikis and

Hanbalis – are of the view that it is obligatory for the husband to have

intercourse with his wife. End quote.

The scholars

differed with regard to the limits within which the husband must have

intercourse with his wife. The most correct opinion is that it should be in

accordance with her need and his ability.

Shaykh al-Islam

Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who does

not have intercourse with his wife for one or two months; is there any sin

on him or not? Is the husband required to do that?

He replied:

The man should

have intercourse with his wife according to what is reasonable. It is the

most important right that she has over him and is more important than

providing her with food. It was said that obligatory intercourse is once

every four months, or whatever is in accordance with her need and his

ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and what he can

afford. This is the more correct of the two scholarly opinions.

Majmoo‘

al-Fataawa,

32/271

Your husband may

be suffering from some mental or physical illness and this may be what is

causing him to refrain from intercourse or showing affection. You cannot be

certain that this is not happening in his case, especially since you say

that the shaykhs who have examined your situation think that he has been

affected by the evil eye. It is not far-fetched to say that that the evil

eye may be what has caused the change in his behaviour.

Dr. ‘Abdullah

as-Sadhaan – who is a specialist in matters of ruqyah and whose doctoral

thesis was entitled Diraasah Muqaarinah ‘an ar-Ruqyah ash-Shar‘iyyah

(A Comparative Study of Ruqyah as prescribed in Islam) was asked:

Can the evil eye

cause physical sickness or financial or social problems?

He replied:

Yes, the evil eye

can cause a lack of healing from many physical problems and may even make

them worse. It may also cause financial and marital problems, breakdown in

relationships and a lot of calamities. How can it be otherwise, when the

Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Death among my

ummah is mostly caused, after the will and decree of Allah, by the evil

eye.” So whatever occurs of calamities that are less serious than death are

more likely to be caused by the evil eye.

Majallat

ad-Da‘wah,

issue no. 2018, 15 Shawwaal 1426 AH/17 November 2005 CE

One of the duties

of the righteous wife is to stand by her husband in such situations, because

he is in the greatest need of someone to support him and help him in

treating his disease until Allah decrees that he should be healed. If what

has befallen him is caused by his material circumstances and social

interactions, then you can win his heart by beautifying yourself for him,

and treating him in a loving and kind manner, for you are his source of

tranquillity. Allah has created between the spouses love and compassion that

will make it easy for you to reach his heart and reduce the pressure that he

is suffering because of his circumstances.

You should

understand that the man is not like the woman; the woman  can respond to her

husband’s sexual needs in all circumstances unless she is sick, menstruating

or bleeding following childbirth. But a man cannot do that unless he has

energy and the desire for intercourse. Hence Islam does not oblige him to

treat his wives (in the case of plural marriage) equally in terms of

intercourse, because that depends on energy, desire and strength. For the

same reason also there is a warning against refusing to share the marital

bed on the part of the wife but not the husband.

With regard to

your saying that you are afraid of falling into immoral actions, you should

be patient and forbearing, and help your husband until Allah heals him. If

you are not able to be patient then you have the right to ask for a

divorce.

Your husband

should hasten to seek treatment for himself; he should not hesitate to do so

or be heedless or lazy about it. According to what you say, he is neglecting

the rights of his wife and the wife has the right to be kept chaste. If he

is able to do it then he should do so, otherwise he should divorce her and

let her go in a good manner, if she cannot be patient during her husband’s

illness.

In the answer to

question no. 11359 we have

described how to protect oneself against the evil eye and to remedy the

matter.

We think that it

is best to refer your case to an Islamic judge (qaadi), because he will be

able to establish the facts of your husband’s case and seek medical reports,

after which he will be able to issue a verdict on matters of divorce and

rights.

We advise you to

be patient in putting up with the situation in which you find yourself and

to support your husband during his illness and do your part to seek a remedy

for it, whether that is with doctors or psychologists, or with trustworthy

shaykhs, so that you can find out the cause of his problem, as he may indeed

have been affected by the evil eye.

We ask Allah to

set your affairs straight.

And Allah knows best.