Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

It is not permissible to attend wedding parties that include

reprehensible things such as singing accompanied by drums or other musical

instruments, apart from the daff, or mixing between men and women, or other

evils, except for one who is able to denounce that and thinks it most likely

that he will be able to put a stop to the evil by denouncing it.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a person

is invited to a waleemah in which there is sin, such as alcohol and musical

instruments, etc, and he can denounce it and put an end to the evil, then he

must attend and denounce it, because then he will be fulfilling two

obligations: accepting the invitation of his Muslim brother and putting a

stop to evil. But if he is unable to denounce it, then he should not attend.

If he does not know of the evil until he gets there, then he should put a

stop to it, and if he is not able to, then he should leave. Something

similar to this was said by al-Shaafa’i. End quote from al-Mughni,

7/214.

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah: If the

wedding party is free of evils such as mixing between men and women,

promiscuous singing and so on, or if she attends she will be able to change

the evils, then it is permissible for her to attend in order to share in the

joy. Rather attendance is obligatory if there is some evil that she is able

to put a stop to.

But if the party involves evils that she cannot denounce,

then it is haraam for her to attend, because of the general meaning of the

verses in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And leave alone those who take their religion as play and

amusement, and whom the life of this world has deceived. But remind (them)

with it (the Qur’aan) lest a person be given up to destruction for that

which he has earned, when he will find for himself no protector or

intercessor besides Allaah”

[al-An’aam 6:70]

“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e.

music, singing) to mislead (men) from the path of Allaah without knowledge,

and takes it (the path of Allaah, or the Verses of the Qur’aan) by way of

mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment (in the Hell‑fire)”

[Luqmaan 31:6]

And there are very many

ahaadeeth which condemn singing and musical instruments. End quote from

Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 92

Secondly:

If your going to the

wedding and taking part in the cooking etc will not result in your listening

to the evils, or approving of them or helping in them, such as if the place

where the evil actions are being committed is far away from you, or you will

be able to leave before they start the reprehensible actions, then there is

nothing wrong with your going in that case, but you should offer them advice

and explain to them the rulings on these evils, and tell them that it is

haraam to take part in them.

In his commentary on the

verse (interpretation of the meaning):

“And it has already

been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur’aan) that when you hear the

Verses of Allaah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until

they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them)

certainly in that case you would be like them. Surely, Allaah will collect

the hypocrites and disbelievers all together in Hell”

[al-Nisa’ 4:140]

al-Qurtubi (may Allaah

have mercy on him) said: “then sit not with them, until they engage in a

talk other than that” means, talk other than kufr; “certainly in that

case you would be like them”. This indicates that it is obligatory to

avoid those who commit sin if they openly commit an evil action, because

whoever does not avoid them is approving of what they are doing, and

approving of kufr is itself kufr. Allaah says “certainly in that case you

would be like them”. So whoever sits in a gathering where sin is

committed and does not denounce it has a burden of sin just like them.

They should be denounced

if they speak of or do sinful things; if a person is not able to denounce

them, then he should get up and leave them, so that he will not be one of

those mentioned in this verse. End quote.

Al-Sa’di (may Allaah have

mercy on him) said:

This also includes

attending gatherings where sin and immorality take place, where the commands

and prohibitions of Allaah are taken lightly and the limits that He has set

for His slaves are transgressed. It is forbidden to sit with them “until

they engage in a talk other than that”, i.e., other than disbelieving in

the verses of Allaah and mocking them. “certainly in that case”

means, if you sit with them in those circumstances, “you would be like

them” because you have approved of their kufr and mockery of Islam, and

the one who approves of a sin is like the one who does it.

To conclude, the one who

attends a gathering in which Allaah is disobeyed is obliged to denounce them

if he is able to, or to leave if he is not. End quote.

Tafseer al-Sa’di,

p. 217

And Allaah knows best.