Aslam

Praise be to Allah.Your

situation is not one of witchcraft or spells, such that you need to go to a

raaqi to perform ruqyah for you, and it is not a mental or nervous illness,

such that you need to go to a doctor. Rather it is the case of a heart that

has been affected by the shaytaan and his waswaas (whispers), who has

instilled ideas of haraam love, so that you started to inflame your desire

by means of poisonous (i.e., haraam) looks, wrong thoughts and false hopes,

until you have reached this state of sickness, as you are aware.

Ibn

al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Chapter: The teachings of the

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) on how to deal with

love.

This is one

of the diseases of the heart, which are different from other diseases in

their causes and remedies. If they take hold, they become too difficult for

the doctors to treat and they cause a great deal of trouble for the sick

person.

Then he

said: Love of images only affects hearts that are void of the love of Allaah

and that turn away from Him and are content with things other than Allaah.

But when the heart is filled with love of Allaah and the longing to see Him,

that wards off the sickness of attraction to images. Hence Allaah said

concerning Yoosuf (interpretation of the meaning):

“Thus it

was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse.

Surely, he was one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves”

[Yoosuf

12:24]

This

indicates that sincerity (ikhlaas) is a means of warding off love and the

evil and immoral actions that it leads to. Protecting oneself against the

cause is also protecting oneself against what it leads to. Hence one of the

salaf said: Love is the sign of an empty heart. Zaad al-Ma’aad 4/365,

268

You should

note, may Allaah protect you from the things that incur His wrath, that the

source of this sickness is in haraam looks, which are the harbinger of

calamity and which bring the sickness into the heart. Then the heart begins

to imagine things, until that leads to wishing for or imagining haraam

things. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon

him) said: “Allaah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina, which

he will inevitably get. The zina of the eyes is looking and the zina of the

tongue is speaking. The heart wishes and hopes, and the private part

confirms that or denies it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6243) and Muslim

(2657).

In that

case, you have to block the way that leads to this sickness and keep away

from places of danger and contagion. Hence Allaah commanded His believing

slaves to lower their gaze (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the

believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and

protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for

them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.

31. And

tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden

things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)”

[al-Noor

24:30-31]

The greatest

means of protecting one’s chastity is by directing one's desire in the way

in which Allaah has permitted, which is by getting married if possible. If a

person is attracted to a specific individual, then he can marry that person,

as it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be

upon him) said: “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one

another.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1847) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani

in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah.

If a person

wants to get married in order to guard his chastity, without being attracted

to a specific person, then this is easier. In that case you can look to get

married quickly and overcome the obstacles that are in your way. There is

nothing wrong with seeking to keep yourself chaste. You can also seek the

help of people you trust in trying to achieve that, such as a righteous

sister or relative, or a mother who understands your needs.

Until you

can manage to do that, keep yourself busy, mentally and physically, with

acts of worship and obedience, and do not give the shaytaan any opportunity

to reach your heart or distract you. The Prophet (peace and blessings

of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it,

let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and

guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it

will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1905) and Muslim

(1400).

You should

also note that one of the most effective remedies for one who is affliected

with that is to turn sincerely to the One who answers the prayer of the

needy when he calls upon Him and to persist in seeking His help with

submission and humility. This is the first step, then he should strive to

remain chaste and conceal the feelings that are in his heart.

The Prophet

(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “ … whoever seeks to

be independent of means, Allaah will make him independent, and whoever is

patient Allaah will bestow patience upon him, and no one is ever given

anything better and more generous than patience.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari

(6470) and Muslim (1053).

You know

that the other party does not share your feelings, and you know that there

is no way you can marry him, and what you are doing is haraam and foolish.

You still have your life ahead of you and it will be easy for you to find

halaal love from a righteous husband, so do not concern yourself with that

which Allaah has forbidden to you.

In the

answer to question no. 21677 we have explained the best way to treat

anxiety, and given some important advice which you have to ponder. We also

state there that it is permissible to seek treatment from a psychologist,

but we do not think that you need to do that, because your problem is well

known and you are the cause of it; the remedy for you is what we have

mentioned and suggested above.

In the

answer to question no. 10254 we have discussed the case of a woman who was

in love with a young man at school and wanted a solution. Look at this

answer too, and perhaps you may benefit from it.

We ask

Allaah to make faith dear to you and to make kufr, immorality and sin

hateful to you, and to guide you to the best of words and deeds, and to

bless you with a righteous husband and good offspring.

And Allaah

knows best.