Aslam

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

You have to repent and seek forgiveness, and regret what you

have done by getting in touch with men who are not your mahrams, and

speaking to them and going out with them.

You must also cut off all ties with this second man

immediately, with no hesitation, because the relationship between you is

haraam.

How can you accept to be the cause of his divorcing his wife?

If you were in her position, would you accept for your husband to divorce

you in order to marry another woman who has come between you to spoil your

lives?

Secondly:

We do not know how a wise man could agree to marry a woman

when he knows that she has had a haraam relationship with a man before him

and she has not repented from that relationship.

Whatever happened to chastity and protective jealousy? Does

he not fear that this man may come back into her life again?

To put it bluntly, either this woman has repented or she has

not. If she has repented from those relationships then there can never be

any contact or relationship between them except in marriage. In this case

there is nothing wrong with marrying her, but he should obey his mother, and

not divorce his first wife.

If she has not repented from these actions, then it is not

unlikely that she may form a relationship with a third man and a fourth.

Similarly, in your case, how can you agree to marry a man who

is content to form haraam relationships, speaking and meeting with women? If

he has repented, then there can never be any meetings between you, and if he

has not repented, then a man like that cannot be trusted. His aim may be

just to have fun with you, and even if he is sincere in wanting to marry

you, there is nothing that would stop him from forming haraam relationships

with other women.

Hence you have to cut off all ties without hesitating, and

pray for forgiveness from Allaah for wasting your life in haraam pursuits.

Turn to Allaah and ask Him to purify your heart and to remove all traces of

those haraam relationships which have corrupted your heart and mind, let

alone detracted from your religious commitment.

If you are sincere in repenting there is the hope that Allaah

will bless you with someone better than him, and will make it easy for you

to get married to a chaste and righteous man who will treat you in a decent

manner and help you to attain the pleasure of your Lord, and you and he will

form a believing family and produce good and righteous offspring.

Do not pay any attention to your heart and emotions, for in

this case emotion has overpowered reason and religious commitment, and has

harmed your spiritual and worldly interests. Your heart now is sick so you

should not let it lead you to Hell.

Seek the help of Allaah, for He will not let down the one who

seeks His help, and the one who humbles himself before his Lord will never

lose out. Do a lot of righteous deeds, and seek righteous, believing female

friends who can help you to deal with your worries and help you to obey your

Lord.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.